Contact your local domestic abuse shelter or a victims’ rights non-profit to meet with a Domestic Violence Case Worker who will provide you assistance at no cost to you. Start with a “Ex Parte Order for Protection” so you keep the narcissist away before court. You’ll need to file a separate restraining order to seek protection on behalf of minors. Provide the narcissist’s—or “Respondent’s”—date of birth to verify their identity.
While character witnesses may not have seen narcissistic abuse, they are a great source of information about how kind and mature you are. Your attorney will speak to character witnesses in order to confirm that they’ll help with your case. When character witnesses provide details about you, they’re compared to reports written about interactions between you and a narcissist to prove you handle yourself well.
Witnesses may not know you well, but they’re important for a court case because they provide first-hand details about how a narcissist disrespected you. Review witness statements in advance so you’re confident that it captures what you want the court to know about the narcissist. Witness statements can include what a person saw, heard, or felt when they were around the narcissist.
When you write everything down right away, a narcissist doesn’t have a chance to gaslight you, which happens when they use emotional manipulation to persuade you that events happened differently.
Your attorney will usually request a subpoena for you, but a court clerk, justice of the peace or notary public actually issues it. A subpoena is typically served in person. You can also use a subpoena to access documents important for your case, such as proof that a narcissist was involved in a domestic abuse case or never paid child support. Anyone who receives a subpoena and appears in court will be paid an “attendance fee” and reimbursed for their transportation, so you don’t have to worry about them being inconvenienced.
You can contact victims’ rights advocates at a shelter or non-profit organization that assists anyone who has experienced domestic abuse. Victims’ rights agencies have trained staff who can help compile legal resources for you. ”Legal clinics” offer free advice if you have general questions about your case. Depending on your income, you may receive legal assistance at a reduced rate. Court staff will not be able to recommend lawyers, but you can search a local directory. Read their bios or reach out and ask if they’ve handled cases with narcissists before.
Anyone who’s faced narcissistic abuse can experience isolation, but a trained counselor can help you open up about your circumstances so you feel heard. Therapy sessions can provide emotional release so you feel a lot more at ease during your court case. A mental health professional can also point out signs of abuse you might’ve missed so you can include this in your documentation.
You and your attorney can book a consultation room for a certain time that you can have to yourselves. Consultation rooms typically have WiFi and projectors so you can go over different documents and rehearse your statements. Let your legal advocate know if you need some space and would prefer to sit in silence or distract yourself for a moment.
Narcissists often need constant praise and attention, so if you, your attorney, or witnesses critique them, a narcissist is unlikely to remain level-headed throughout the case. If a narcissist does make degrading comments or lose their temper in court, then a judge is likely to compare that to any documentation that suggests the narcissist is abusive.
Make it clear that you’re speaking to the judge with a comment like, “Your Honor, I’d like to address that claim. ” Thank the judge for listening to you—you’ll probably come across as polite and respectful. A narcissist might “drag you down” and try to bully you in court or even use sad body language to make you pity them. If you avoid any eye contact with them, you’ll be able to think clearly.
After the court case, limit or completely avoid contact with the narcissist. That way, you’ll prevent stressful disputes and give yourself peace of mind. Contact a victims’ right advocate or an attorney if a narcissist refuses to follow any court-ordered rules or policies.
