Consider using the F. O. R. D. technique, by focusing the conversation on the following topics: Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams (Hopes). See a conversation as two sided. Be interested in what others say, and be interesting by relating to others. Share stories, but allow others an opportunity to speak. Be friendly and personable. Even if you’re more of an introvert than an extrovert, by simply being positive in the conversation, and showing genuine interest in what the person is saying, you are more likely to develop a closer connection.

Invite someone to lunch, coffee, or a hang-out spot. Ask them to go on a hike or walk, or some other outdoor activity. Go to a bar for drinks Do activities that make you feel like your best self. [3] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPClinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 2 October 2020. If that person agrees, that’s a good sign that they are interested in also getting to know you, and giving you a chance. If they decline, they may be busy, or less interested in a close relationship.

Go to a local food festival rather than a restaurant. Take a day trip to a local state or national park. Go to a museum that’s not so traditional, like a radio and television museum or a sports hall of fame. Consider going to a local comedy show or a play rather than the movies. Go to a sporting event that might be outside the usual. Take a class together — art, fitness, cooking, or something else that seems different.

Try online dating. This is an opportunity to meet a lot people, and see if you hit it off before meeting up in person. Go to parties, events, and social gatherings with the goal of having one-on-one time with someone interesting.

You’re more likely to develop a relationship with someone new if you’re not hanging out with a friend already.

Actively listen. Give your undivided attention to the new person. Be present. Keep eye contact and give non-verbal cues of understanding, such as saying “uh-huh” or nodding your head. Paraphrase what they are saying, and give empathetic responses. Consider saying, “It sounds like you had a tough day after taking that final exam. I know it can be stressful. I just had a tough exam last week. ”

Include the other person in your life. Invite them to group outings, sporting events, to join teams or clubs, or to hang out in the park.

One of the most important topics can be about values and beliefs. By understanding and having a common bond over values and beliefs, you are likely to become closer to that person. Stressors about upbringing and recent personal crises may lead to a deeper understanding, as sharing fears or insecurities can be difficult but also cathartic. Consider asking questions like, “What was it like for you as a kid?” or “Are you close with your parents?” Finding out about someone’s thoughts and feelings is key.

Deeper relationships are based on respecting each other, and valuing each other’s input. Consider saying, “That’s what it has been like for me last week, what’s it been like for you?” or “I want to hear what you’ve been going through. " Giving someone the opportunity to speak without interruption is key.

Learn to be emotionally honest. While this may be difficult in large group settings, it’s important to confide in people in smaller or one-on-one settings about your worries and fears. Don’t dwell on the negative. Particularly if this is someone new, it’s important to focus on both the positive and negative, rather than just one or the other. When someone asks you, “How’s your family?” instead of saying, “They’re fine,” be open about what is bothering you. You don’t need to turn the conversation into a venting session, but it can help someone to see what you’re going through. You could say instead, “They’re pretty well. My mom is sick, but we’re all trying to pull together and support her. "

Being reliable is a key way to build trust. It shows that you do what you say, and that your words are not empty promises. Don’t play games with someone you like, or possibly love. Be there for them. Make an effort to be on-time, or follow through with plans. You will lose someone’s trust if you fail to “honor your word. ” For example if you know that you’ll be running late, be courteous and call or text the person you’re meeting. And, if it’s likely that you can’t make an event, tell them at least 24 hours ahead of time.

Make someone feel valued. If you show through your words and actions that this person is both interesting and important, it is likely that the person will respond the same way. Treat others as you would like to be treated. If this is a romantic relationship, let someone know you’re thinking of them. While it’s important to have boundaries in any relationship, fostering love by making someone feel special is key. Consider giving a small gift for special occasions, or even just for times when you think they really could use the support. Offer your help if they are stressed, worried, or in need of some assistance. Being handy and helpful can make a big difference in a relationship.