To check if you’re breathing from your diaphragm (the muscle that sits right below your lungs), watch yourself in the mirror while you breathe in. If your shoulders and chest rise, you’re taking shallow breaths without using your diaphragm. Practice using your diaphragm by placing your hand on your abdomen and pushing it outward while you breathe in.
End questions on a higher pitch and statements on a lower pitch. If you end statements with a high pitch, you’ll sound like you don’t believe what you just said. The best way to keep up a friendly tone is to have varied pitches while you talk. You don’t want to have a totally high-pitched conversation, as people might think you just inhaled a helium balloon. A completely low-pitched conversation, however, could make your listener think you’re uninterested in your chat with them.
You don’t need to take thirty seconds to get out every word. Be aware of your speed, and you’ll naturally slow down. Add some pauses to let your listener keep up with you.
Breathing from your diaphragm will help with this problem. These controlled breaths let everyone hear you without making you work too hard to push out the sound. Any time you’re struggling to make yourself heard, you’re probably going to end up shouting, which won’t sound friendly.
Practice good articulation by saying tongue twisters to yourself for five minutes each morning or night. For example, say these as fast as you can while still keeping the words clear: “James just jostled Jean gently. Jack the jailbird jacked a jeep,” “Kiss her quick, kiss her quicker, kiss her quickest,” and “The shrewd shrew sold Sarah seven silver fish slices. ”[5] X Research source
Practice smiling while you talk by standing in front of your bathroom mirror and saying a few sentences with a big grin on your face.
If you feel like your arms are flopping awkwardly next to your sides while you’re chatting, lace your fingers together in front of your body. This is still more inviting than crossing your arms over your chest.
Ask follow-up questions based on what they’ve said to keep your friendly chat going. For example, if they tell you they have a cat named Chloe, you could say, “I love animals! How old is Chloe?”[10] X Research source
Avoid gossiping and don’t complain too much. These habits will quickly turn a friendly, positive conversation into a negative whining session. Be careful with your pitch when you compliment people. If you go high on the wrong words, you’ll end up sounding sarcastic. For example, saying “I love those earrings!” with a really high-pitched “love” might make your listener think you’re making fun of their jewelry.
