For example, if you’re feeling bad, a therapist might be able to assist you. Partially “disappearing,” such as by changing your routine and dressing differently, could also help. If you’re in a tough home situation, call a support line like the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. If you have a child with you, call 1-800-4ACHILD for immediate assistance.
Keep in mind that being out on your own is usually worse as a minor. When you’re found, you will be taken home anyway. Unless things are very bad or even dangerous, find other ways to improve your life at home. Even if you don’t think your friends and family will miss you much, you are better off finding safer ways to change the situation than simply disappearing. There are many resources out there that can help you deal with bad situations until you’re ready to leave.
There are some legal problems to consider. For instance, if someone sends a search party after you, you might have to pay back the costs of the search. Adults have the right to leave home if they wish. Exceptions are when you’re trying to avoid a legal obligation like a court appearance. If you’re being harassed, blackmailed, or stalked, call the police. There are legal ways to change your identity and stay safe in these situations.
Disappearing with a child, for instance, could get you charged with kidnapping or child endangerment. Even if you have good intentions, you’re better off staying put.
Disappearances cause a lot of pain for family members. Instead of leaving them in the dark, tell them where you’re going and when they can expect you to be back. Try going camping, visiting a new city, or doing something else. Don’t leave everything behind unless you know you’re going to be safe traveling. Even if you have to go, you can usually get assistance from the police or charitable organizations.
Leave personal identifiers like family photos at home. If you have to bring along mementos, keep them well-hidden and locked up so no one can use them to identify you. Consider getting rid of your vehicle if you own one. A car is a good way to put distance between you and your past life, but it is identifiable. Sell it, donate it, or leave it behind if you decide you can’t use it where you’re going.
Doing this takes preparation and can be very difficult in today’s world. Leave your phone and computer at home, since they are often easy to track by eagle-eyed investigators. If you’re stressed about your online information, revealing photos, or Internet harassment, try doing an online-only disappearance. Use the Internet and social media a little less every day. This might make you feel better without having to leave behind the rest of your life.
Search through your files, such as the “Downloads” folder, for anything you wish to hide. Even if your device is password-protected, it still isn’t safe from prying eyes. Be cautious when using a public computer, such as a library. Nothing is private, and you can’t log into any personal accounts without running the risk of being caught.
Usually, the easiest way to do this is by choosing a different name. This isn’t a legal change unless you get it changed in court. Keep in mind that technology makes it impossible to completely hide your past. For example, you could say your name is Tom and you’re out in California for school or vacation. If you say you’re there as an architect, people might start asking you questions. Be vague and keep your story consistent.
Get rid of what you no longer need. Sometimes getting rid of the excess is enough to make you feel refreshed. If you truly intend on hiding out from everyone, leave behind anything with your name on it.
Carrying around a lot of money is a little intimidating, so take care of yourself. Bring what you plan on using and store the rest in a secure spot. It is possible to get started with a little bit of money. For example, you could buy a bus ticket and start a new life somewhere else.
Find ways to care for yourself while you’re away. Bringing money along helps. Also, have a plan for what you intend on doing once you arrive at your destination. If you’re going rogue, some items to consider include a large backpack, warm clothes, a rain jacket, sturdy shoes, a tent, a sleeping bag, maps, a compass, a pocket knife, and a first aid kit.
If you’re considering going international, research visa requirements and other regulations. Some countries welcome visitors and even people who wish to move there. Others, like China, are much more restrictive about letting people in. If you’re staying in your own country, weigh your chances of being discovered. A camping trip in the forest is great for a weekend trip, but if you’re looking for a fresh start, you could move to another city. Stay away from vacation spots you used to frequent.
You often do not need to present an ID to get a bus or train fare unless you’re traveling long distances. Airplanes and ships are out of the question unless you’re willing to let people know you’re leaving the country. Airports and docks have plenty of government security and you will need to present a valid ID.
A good cover story allows you to travel in peace for a few days. You could say that you had to travel for work or wished to go on vacation without being disturbed. Use a story like that to go off the radar for a few days without anyone knowing. Create false leads to keep others off your trail. For example, book a flight to Chile without any intention of boarding. Link yourself to companies you have never even heard of.
In the U. S. at least, most places ask for your name and Social Security number in order to perform a background check. There is no legal way to get around this. You could ask to be called by a different name, but you probably won’t be able to lie your way into a job. Finding work is much easier when you’re an adult since most places can’t legally hire children. Don’t wing it if you can help it. If you don’t have a plan yet, check with your local government’s employment and benefits services to see if help is available. If you don’t have a computer with you, you can use a library computer for free to apply for work. You could also visit places in person to ask for an application.
For example, if you’re normally a T-shirt and jeans kind of person, switch it up. Try dressing like a geeky person, a hippy, a metalhead, or someone else’s specific style. Keep your budget in mind when inventing your new identity. Get an opposite hairstyle from what you are accustomed to. If you wear your hair long, cut it and even consider dying it. Ask a stylist for recommendations. Hats, hoodies, and sunglasses are great tools for feeling anonymous in a crowd. Even if you don’t often wear these items, consider investing in some to give your new outfit its own unique feel.
For instance, if you’re used to staying at home playing video games, get outdoors. Play sports and go camping to throw people off your trail. Eat different foods to keep up your new identity. If you’re addicted to something at your favorite fast food spot, ditch your old habit. Go to different restaurants or hit up the nearest grocery store. People can often be recognized by their movements. If you usually walk at a fast pace, slow down, for instance. You might even find this change refreshing.
