Social confusion Difficulty figuring out what others are thinking Idiosyncratic speech Discomfort with eye contact (or unusual eye contact) Meeting developmental milestones late, early, or out of order Preference for routine and familiarity Disorganization Under- and/or over-sensitive senses Auditory processing difficulties Repetitive movements (stimming) Narrow, passionate “special interests” Literal thinking Thinking outside the box (or, rather, not knowing where the box is at all) Strong systemizing skills Sincerity
Be skeptical of stories about autistic people being “cured. " Either the person is hiding their autistic traits (which is harmful to their mental health[3] X Research source [4] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source [5] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source ) or they never were autistic in the first place. [6] X Research source [7] X Research source People trying to sell you cures are usually scammers. [8] X Research source
Instead of thinking of autism as linear, try thinking of it like an ice cream sundae bar. [9] X Research source Each person gets slightly different ingredients in different amounts. There is an incredible amount of variation, and no one combination is objectively “better” or “worse” than the others.
Bad parenting doesn’t cause autism. Parents of autistic children have been unfairly criticized for different things over the years: being too unloving,[10] X Research source not spanking,[11] X Research source [12] X Research source vaccinating their kids, or not trying hard enough to “detox” and “defeat” the autism. [13] X Research source [14] X Research source [15] X Research source But it’s impossible to turn a child non-autistic. Parents can help autistic kids become more well-adjusted, but they can’t change whether the child is autistic. Vaccines don’t play a role. The only researcher who suggested this was intentionally faking his data for financial gain (around half a million US dollars). [16] X Research source [17] X Research source Every independent researcher since has found no correlation. [18] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source [19] X Research source [20] X Research source Some people believe this myth because signs of autism may start becoming apparent at 18 months, around the same time as the MMR vaccine. Autism isn’t just for little white boys. Autistic people can be of any age, race, and gender. Symptoms can often show differently in males and females, and be regarded differently based on culture. Autistic people can be loving and caring. The claim that autistic people “lack empathy” is misleading. While autistics may struggle to understand others, they often care deeply. Autistic people can be incredibly kind and loving towards others. [21] X Research source [22] X Research source [23] X Research source Autistics are mostly nonviolent. In fact, autistic people are less violent than non-autistics. [24] X Research source [25] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source [26] X Research source Violent behavior is rare and often due to extreme situations. Autism isn’t an illness. “More autistic” doesn’t mean “less happy” or “less successful. " Autism is a condition, something that simply is rather than an affliction. In fact, autistic people feel happier when they learn to accept their autistic traits and adapt to the environment. [27] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source [28] X Research source
The right therapist can help teach skills and work on adaptations to make life easier for the autistic person. Autistic people in an accepting environment have lower stress. [32] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Doctors may say things like “your child will never have a job” or “they will be unable to know love” to parents of young children. This ignores the fact that many autistic kids are late bloomers and lifelong learners. There’s no way to tell what the future will be. Avoid the prophets of doom. [33] X Research source [34] X Research source
Have excessive, unrealistic fears about socializing with others Experience less social confusion (but exaggerate the negatives) Show signs of nervousness in social settings: rapid heartbeat, sweating, shaking, blushing, breathing difficulties, dizziness, stomachache, etc. Avoid crowds and public places for social reasons, not sensory reasons Develop anxiety problems at any age Not experience autistic traits like developmental delays, special interests, disorganization, stimming, and more
Be unable to speak when around unfamiliar people or settings (as opposed to when overwhelmed by sensory input) Experience no communication problems at home around familiar people Show signs of social anxiety Lack autistic traits like developmental delays, stimming, passionate interests, sensory differences, need for routine, and social confusion
Only move repetitively under stress (never for fun, or as a focusing aid) Not feel safe around other people, and avoid making friends or dating Experience flashbacks, dissociation, and/or panic attacks related to trauma Not necessarily need routines, or use them to avoid triggers Have frequent or dramatic nightmares Lack signs of autism like developmental delays, special interests, and communication difficulties
Worry uncontrollably Feel the need to check or fix things in order to protect themselves, other people, or property (e. g. their house) Take longer to complete tasks due to perfectionism, not motor skill issues or sensory distractions Make repetitive movements to stave off distress (never for focusing or expressing feelings) Always be able to explain why they make repetitive movements (e. g. , “To make sure the house won’t be on fire” as opposed to “I don’t know” or “It’s just fun”) Not enjoy their obsessive thoughts (unlike autistic special interests), and tend not to collect information about them Lack signs of autism like developmental delays, special interests, and communication difficulties
Experience mood swings that last for days, weeks, or months (not minutes or hours) Tend not to have clear causes for their mood swings Lack signs of autism, like developmental delays, special interests, stimming, and communication difficulties
Experience psychotic symptoms (such as hallucinations and delusions) Lack some signs of autism, like developmental delays, special interests or stimming
Have little interest in making friends or finding a romantic partner Be indifferent to praise and criticism Not gain new social skills, or want to gain them Experience little pleasure Show little motivation or interest in achieving goals Be less likely to enjoy close relationships, especially with people who aren’t family members Lack passionate interests, developmental delays, sensory issues, stimming, and other signs of autism
Magical thinking: the belief that two events are linked without any plausible reason (e. g. believing that it will rain because they woke up on the left side of the bed) Difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality Social anxiety or discomfort Paranoia and difficulty with trust Lack passionate interests, developmental delays, sensory issues, stimming, and other signs of autism
Avoid interacting with other people to a large degree Lack close relationships due to fear, but wish they could have them Experience intense sensitivity to any perceived criticism Exaggerate the negatives Lack developmental delays, passionate interests, sensory issues, and other signs of autism
Fear and react strongly to real or perceived abandonment Experience tumultuous personal relationships Act manipulatively due to panic (without realizing they’re out of line) Lack trust Engage in self-destructive behavior Experience explosive anger and drastic mood swings Feel empty inside Struggle with self-reflection Lack developmental delays, passionate interests, sensory issues, and other signs of autism
Struggle with delegating responsibility Be workaholics Hoard items with no sentimental value in case they are useful later Show little generosity Struggle with having fun Place little value in close relationships, even in immediate family Lack developmental delays, passionate interests, sensory issues, and other signs of autism
Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) involves deep-seated insecurity and need for reassurance. This can manifest as clingy, submissive behavior. People with DPD struggle with decision-making, assertiveness, voicing disagreement, and being alone. They feel safest when someone else is caring for them. [54] X Research source [55] X Research source Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) involves a deep need to be at the center of attention. People with HPD may dress and behave eccentrically, and can come across as self-centered. They seek attention and approval from others in order to feel secure, and cannot bear being ignored. [56] X Research source [57] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD) have less in common with autism. [58] X Research source Both ASPD and NPD usually involve cruel and manipulative behavior, which is not characteristic of autistic people. (Autistic people usually lack the social skills necessary to successfully manipulate others, and any rude behavior is often unintentional. ) People with PPD experience extreme paranoia, which does not noticeably overlap with autistic traits.
Experience significant disorganization Struggle to focus, even in a sensory-friendly environment Struggle a lot with impulse control Start tasks without finishing them Lose and forget about things Move repetitively mainly when bored, energetic, or needing to focus (less for sensory or emotional reasons) Experience less social confusion, unusual tone/pitch of voice, nonspeaking episodes, and literal thinking Lack developmental delays
Difficulty understanding visual information, like charts or graphs Strong rote memory, especially for auditory information Difficulty with abstract thinking Poor spatial awareness (getting lost, struggling with riding a bike or driving a car, bumping into things) Lack of stimming
Trouble with reading comprehension Delays in reading and writing skills Lack of stimming and special interests
Distrust their caregivers, and have a poor relationship with them Have the social skills necessary to manipulate others, sometimes very skillfully Hoard food, or only accept food from certain people Exaggerate a lot, and be strongly reactive Be good (or at least not terrible) at lying Only use echolalia for coping with stress (never for amusement or as a memory aid) Lose or break their favorite things Prefer to play only with other children, and repetitively play out certain stories or roles Lack a conscience
Experience “mystery illnesses” like stomachaches and headaches that are a result of stress Seem not to react to stressful circumstances Experience limited imagination, leading to limited fantasies and dreams Be unable to explain why they acted a certain way Seem to “forget their manners” or act rude Show little interest in affection or sexual activity (not explained by sensory issues or asexuality) Seem distant and aloof Lack developmental delays, repetitive behavior, passionate interests, need for routine, and other autistic traits
Blind or visually impaired children may not make eye contact, and may struggle to interact with parents because they cannot see them. [69] X Research source They may also stim. Deaf or hard of hearing children may have language delays. [70] X Research source They may seem “unresponsive” when they actually just can’t hear something. Apraxia and dyspraxia can make it harder to use motor skills, and can affect speech. [71] X Research source Physical pain can make children unhappy, and they may be irritable, disruptive, or withdrawn. [72] X Research source
Tourette syndrome Tardive dyskinesia
22q11. 2 deletion involves developmental delays, cleft palate, heart problems, limited hearing, low muscle tone, breathing problems, learning disabilities, and scoliosis. [73] X Research source [74] X Research source [75] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Angelman syndrome involves developmental delays, seizures, hand-flapping, cheerfulness, inability to speak, tongue thrusting, small head size, and difficulty balancing and walking. [76] X Research source [77] X Research source [78] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Childhood Disintegrative Disorder involves typical development until usually around age 3 or 4, with the child losing all language ability and sometimes toileting skills. Seizures, sensory issues, and motor skill impairments may occur. [79] X Research source Cornelia De Lange syndrome involves autistic-like behavior, slow growth, developmental delay, limited hearing, seizures, and more. People with it usually have a short and small head, a unibrow, long eyelashes, and a small nose. [80] X Research source [81] X Research source Fragile X syndrome can involve signs of autism. Large ears and forehead, soft skin, and a long face are typical. Developmental delays, limited eye contact, anxiety, hand flapping, a helpful disposition, and impulsivity are common. [82] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source [83] X Research source It may include intellectual disability, ADHD, and seizures. [84] X Research source Landau-Kleffner syndrome involves seizures and aphasia (becoming unable to speak and understand speech). Lead poisoning can involve developmental delays, irritability, weight loss, fatigue, gastrointestinal problems, weakness, pallor, limited hearing, and seizures. [85] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source [86] X Research source Phenylketonuria (PKU) is a metabolic disorder involving developmental delays, seizures, intellectual disability, and hyperactivity. They tend to have pale skin and hair relative to their family, a small head, skin conditions like eczema, and an odd body odor. [87] X Research source [88] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Rett syndrome involves regression during infant or toddler years, difficulties with motor skills (walking, breathing, use of hands), hand-wringing, and sleep issues. Smith-Magenis syndrome involves intellectual disability, delayed speech and motor skills, sleep problems, repetitive self-hugging, licking fingers before flipping pages, self-injury, a charming personality, impulsiveness, and anxiety. They tend to have a broad face with full cheeks, deep-set eyes, and a strong jaw. [89] X Research source [90] X Research source [91] X Research source Williams syndrome involves intellectual disability, an outgoing and friendly personality, strong auditory learning skills, and cardiovascular problems. They tend to have a large forehead, a small nose, full cheeks, and a wide mouth. [92] X Research source [93] X Research source Sanfilippo syndrome”(also called MPS III) is often misdiagnosed for autism because they both have sensory issues, developmental delays, and seizures are common. Sanfilippo is a terminal diagnosis, so this misdiagnosis is critical. [94] X Research source
Sensitivity is not always a sign of autism. Some people are “highly sensitive people” (HSPs), and experience sensory and emotional sensitivity. Giftedness can involve some autistic traits, without the person being on the spectrum. Introversion involves enjoyment of alone time. Introverts may be uncomfortable socializing in large groups or for a long time.
It’s not uncommon for autistic people to have multiple co-occurring conditions. Some autistics have so many co-occurring conditions that they can’t count all of them on one hand. (Don’t let this scare you, though; people with many conditions can still live happy lives. ) Conditions not mentioned here could co-occur too. Autistic people may experience things like face blindness, dyspraxia, and learning disabilities.
It’s easy to misdiagnose yourself or a loved one. Pursuing the wrong diagnosis could lead to missing out on the help you or your loved one needs. [95] X Research source
Think of anecdotes about quirky behavior that might suggest a disorder or disability. Consider taking online tests. Print out the questions and circle your answers, so that you can show them to the doctor. This can be even more valuable than the results. [96] X Research source
If you’re a minor, ask your parents to take you to the doctor.
“I’m not sure why you said I might have ADHD instead of autism. I don’t usually struggle to pay attention in class, and I had a lot of developmental delays in early childhood. " “I’m not sure why you’re saying my daughter may have complex PTSD. I don’t think she’s ever had a traumatic experience, and she does tell me that she wants to make more friends. Could you explain your reasoning?” “I’m confused. Are you saying that I have schizoid personality disorder only, or that I’m autistic and schizoid?” “This doesn’t seem right to me. But I’m overwhelmed and it’s hard to explain things right now. Could you give me a minute to try to write it out?”
